on my mind
hello, it’s been awhile.
part of me lost track of time and the schedule of this newsletter, and the other part of me just had no motivation to write anything at all.
i came across this concept of pandemic fine, which i feel like very aptly defines how i’ve been feeling lately. i’m not sure what to do about it exactly and am curious if you feel or have felt like this—where you know you are doing much better than other people given the circumstances, yet you still feel a low humming of anxiety/fatigue and can’t shake that off?
in any case, i’m trying to be mindful of this feeling and listen to what my body needs (if i can figure it out.) it’s been almost a year of us being in this quarantine life, so how is it possible we’re still like this? let’s just be hopeful for a better summer.
one bright spot this month was getting a copy of a poetry anthology “in isolation” i am included in. if you’re interested, you can buy a copy here.
another one was leading a live poetry writing room on clubhouse, where i shared some writing prompts and connected with amazing writers from all over the world. you can join the next one on tuesday, march 2 and every other tuesday at 8 pm ET.
what are your bright spots to get you through being pandemic fine?
what i’m noting
Read // Hunger: A memoir of (My Body) by Roxane Gay — I listened to this as an audiobook and had to pause so many times because of Roxane’s powerful and visceral narration of surviving rape, her relationship with her body, love, shame and denial.
Read // Against Loving Your Job — “While we have to do our jobs for a living, we should always be making demands to reclaim our time.”
Watch // Firefly Lane — For an emotional, This is Us-like friendship story that spans decades between two girls as they grow up, get their first jobs and have their own families. I appreciate seeing long-term friendships dissected and explored as a central plotline, on the same level or even higher than romantic relationships
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— Nesima
I think post people are feeling this but can’t even put it into proper words/ articulate this feeling so this definition is definitely needed. I was feeling this way for a very long time during this pandemic and EVERYTIME I would remind myself “show gratitude” “be grateful” to get myself out of those scary dark holes and places! However, I WAS showing gratitude and being grateful but it still was not the solution to my deep sadness, and Feeling like crap. One can be grateful and show gratitude all while battling depression and sadness. It takes time, patience and prayer. The cure for me was definitely prayer! Prayer brought me peace and another cure was actually doing something about my situation.
Also, we sound super ungrateful being that so many people lost their homes, jobs, lives, and we are still here.. alive, well, and employed???? It’s like how can you ever in your life feel like shit?????? But that’s the thing... lockdown and a pandemic will do that to one. We are not ungrateful, we are literally in difficult, unexpected, insane times and we just don’t know how to deal with this as humans. My advice to anyone feeling this way mentally is to literally sit down, reflect, write your thoughts on paper, write how you’re feeling and how you wish to feel, pray, talk to someone, write some more, and actually get up and go outside!!!!! Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Think about life after this pandemic. This shit is so hard!!!! I promise I know how hard it is but we can and we will get through it. We just have to push!!!!!!