Unfinished business
On my mind
This week, the news of particular two deaths captured my attention and caused me to turn inward. The first was Leila Janah, an ambitious and visionary social entrepreneur, who founded Samasource, a tech company dedicated to providing meaningful work with livable wages to people around the world. She died from complications from Epithelioid Sarcoma, a rare form of cancer. Leila was only 37.
I never met Leila but she was one of the people who inspired me when I moved to San Francisco after college to pursue a career in social entrepreneurship. Not only was she a founder of Samasource, she went on to start two additional social-good companies and led an active lifestyle, traveling the globe and doing extreme sports. She was positive, energetic and believed so strongly in tackling global poverty. I continued to follow her career over the last seven years and never ceased to be impressed by the latest update on her company, the newest round of seed funding she secured and even her own personal story of freezing her eggs and later getting engaged.
Her last few Instagram posts were heavy, foreshadowing that perhaps life was coming to an end soon, but I and her supporters truly thought she would overcome because she was freakin Leila Janah. Her tenacious spirit had to be enough, right? So when I saw Samasource’s announcement as I was scrolling through my phone before bed, I was crushed. Death comes for everyone and yet, when we see it come for someone so young and brilliant and dedicated to good, it stings so much more.
My first thoughts were There was so much for her to do with her life! She had so many goals and plans! And then I thought, would I make a fraction of the positive impact Leila had on the world? Have I been living my life in a way that is truly kind, generous, selfless and imaginative like her? Do I have the courage to pursue an untraditional path and not sit comfortably, knowing it may mean I have to work harder and make more sacrifices? Watching Leila from afar reminded me to count my blessings, worry less, and focus on what matters, despite my manic need to do more and all the distractions pulling me in so many directions. She was ambitious but never forgot what was important. Her death seems so unfair but I’m happy she is at peace and we were able to witness her generosity.
The sadness I feel about Leila is what I imagine many people around the world have been feeling for another notable figure in a different field, Kobe Bryant.
I was having coffee with some friends when we heard the news and we immediately went to Twitter to confirm the news of the helicopter crash. I wasn’t working on Sunday but I coordinated with the Atlantic’s audience team to get up a post on Instagram with a short caption detailing what we knew at the time and selected a heartwarming photo of Kobe and Gianna on the court.
Now I’m not a basketball fan, so I can’t speak to what that loss truly means, but I was still unsettled by the tragic accident. Kobe was only 41. He was talented, mythical and beloved throughout his 20-year career with the Lakers. He had so many projects and plans post-retirement, including his sport academy, philanthropy, writing, and his Oscar-winning short film. He enjoyed being a #Girldad. Meanwhile, Gianna was only 13 with her own promising talent and dreams of playing professional basketball. And all the passengers traveling with her were heading to play a game they loved, never expecting they’d never make it there.
I can’t imagine what the family and friends of all the victims are experiencing. This beautiful interview by Anderson Cooper with Matt Mauser, husband of Christina Mauser, one of the passengers on the helicopter, reminded me that all you can do is just take one day at a time or even one step at a time or one breath. I really urge you to watch the interview not just because the other victims deserve your attention, but also because it’s a masterclass on how to interview a grieving person with empathy.
I also wanted to call out that alongside the outpouring of sadness for Kobe Bryant’s death, there are those who cannot think of him without remembering the sexual assault allegations. As much as I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, I do think there should be a space for people to raise concerns and share the messy and complicated emotions around an excessively idolized person without being attacked. People need to be seen and understood in their full complexity, even if it’s not flattering. But as Ross Andersen wrote, “In recent years, as Bryant showed us more of his thoughtful side, it became possible to wonder if he might one day revisit that night in Colorado, even if only in private, perhaps in response to persistent questioning from his girls. Bryant always seemed to have one more pivot in him. Maybe, had he lived, he would have tried to confront the contradictions that marked his relationships with women, including his accuser. Maybe he would have worked to make amends in a way that changed the perspective of all those young players who admire him. That we’ll never know is now one more tragedy among many.”
It’s that unfinished business that haunts us, or at least it haunts me when it comes to the idea of death. But if we lived forever, I’m not sure we’d ever finish anything or feel an urgency to redeem ourselves. We say we will, but I argue it’s the not knowing our ending that pushes us to make life meaningful. I’ll end here before I get too philosophical, but just know I am desperately seeking people to discuss last night’s finale of The Good Place, which strangely could not have aired at a more perfect time.
Sending love and strength to anyone mourning someone precious and flawed, whether you knew them in real life or not.
What I’m noting
Little Women // So happy I finally got to watch this movie based on the classic Louisa May Alcott novel on womanhood, family and relationships. Greta Gerwig really was robbed for Best Director. If you still aren’t sure which March sister you are, you can take the movie quiz, the PBS quiz or this Buzzfeed quiz that believes everyone’s a combo of the sisters. Take them all to be 100% accurate obviously. I identify most with Jo but am more of a Jo/Amy btw.
Thread of books by Muslim authors coming out in 2020 // Bookmark and pre-order!
The 19th News // A new women-focused nonprofit newsroom is launching (and hiring!) this summer. The 19th will be “reporting at the intersection of gender, politics and policy. We aim to empower women — particularly those underserved by and underrepresented in American media — with the information, community and tools they need to be equal participants in our democracy.”
Lessons From the "THIS!" Factory // Burnout from having to write about your own pain, trauma and life experiences for the clicks
The idea of beauty is always shifting // How beauty is becoming more inclusive and global (about time). Check out these fantastic photos from NatGeo.
Watch out for false coronavirus info // The fear surrounding the recent coronavirus outbreak is causing a lot of wrong information to spread, plus some disturbing racism. Stay safe but also stay educated and civil, folks.
That’s it for me. What are you reading, watching or listening to lately? Remember, you can always hit reply to this email if you want to share or just say hi :)
Have a good weekend!
— Nesima